Can you tell when someone is interested in you? Are you sure? Since no one likes to be rejected, it’s a good idea to understand the subtle signs of attraction (or lack thereof) before you launch yourself into the line of fire with someone.
Before we get into the specifics, know this: For all of our technological advances and psychological insights, when it comes to reading the silent signs of sexual attraction, we are really no different than beasts. For the past 500 million years, every member of the animal kingdom has utilized certain signals to communicate their interest in mating. These boil down to the message: “I am harmless; I won’t bite.” (Charles Darwin called these signs “submissive displays,” because they make the subject seem more approachable.) Seeing any one of them may signify physical attraction. Seeing all five at once is compelling evidence that you are liked — and very possibly lusted after.
Signal #1: Lifted shoulders
One of the most easily detected signs of attraction is a person’s lifted shoulders. This motion indicates that someone has activated what biologists call the “cute response” — a bashful, almost childlike behavior that reveals a softer, more compliant side of an individual. This is an emotional, involuntary muscular response to being in the presence of someone you like, and it has a universally disarming effect. (It is also a natural response when you’re oohing and ahhing over a puppy or cuddling with a baby.) In a dating scenario, this unconscious movement tells you that the person you’re interested in wants to get a little closer — and that you shouldn’t be shy about it.
or He rounds his postureHypermasculine body language (think: swaggering walk, standing tall with shoulders back and chin up, etc.) serves to attract someone from a distance. But when a guy is talking close-up with a person he likes, he will soften, or “round” his body language. If your guy’s squared shoulders cave in when he’s chatting with you, he’s indicating that he feels comfortable and secure in your presence.
Sign #2: The forehead bow
Your date has more than friendship in mind if he or she uses the forehead bow move on you. Here’s the tell-tale gesture: the head tips slightly forward and your date looks up at you from under his or her eyebrows. A fragment of the full-body bow (which is used in cultures around the world to show respect and deference upon meeting someone), this head motion coupled with those bedroom eyes can indicate that your date may be falling for you... and fast. In direct contrast to this move is displaying a posture of domination, so if your date subtly tilts back his or her head and casts a downward gaze upon you, watch out. That look should tell you exactly where you stand — and that, in fact, you should go stand elsewhere, because this person does not see you as a decent love prospect.
Sign #3: Mirroring your date’s movements
Many creatures in the animal kingdom use a principle called isopraxism to establish rapport with a potential mate through mimicry. This can be seen in the synchronous preening of birds or head-nodding that lizards do, but since all living things find sharing a sense of likeness reassuring, it may come as no surprise that isopraxism works wonders for bonding humans, too. If you cross your legs, lean back in your chair, or sip your latte just as your date does, you’re showing him that you’re on the same wavelength.
To test the waters, try leaning in closer to your date, using your hands to emphasize what you’re saying. If your guy does the same, it’s a great sign. But if he keeps his hands still, pulls away or takes a step backwards, he may be unavailable or just plain not interested.
Sign #4: He closes the distanceFirst and foremost, moving in closer indicates a desire for more intimate contact. So if a guy you’re talking to at a party inches a little closer as you talk, or your date slides into the same side of the booth as you, you know he wants to get to know you better — and not as a friend.
Sign #5: He speaks softlyWhen a man talks in a quieter voice, it’s an excellent sign. He’s indicating that what he’s saying is for your ears only. If he’s telling you something private or secret, it’s a good thing — guys don’t do that to people they’re not into. If you want to let that soft-talker know you feel the same way, respond in kind, which should quickly turn those sparks into an all-out fire. Caveat: If you’re in a loud club or restaurant where you have to shout to be heard, you can’t tell anything by his decibel level. So wait until you’re walking or driving home to see whether he’s turned the volume down.
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