I sat there watching as he finished his on-line profile. I could tell he was pleased with himself as he proof read his finished product. He made a random statement about how he was gonna really pull dudes in with this new revamped profile. New screen name, catchy & witty tag line, and a slew of new pics that included some classy but slutty shots taken by moi. He looked it over once again for good measure and then stopped. I was all of sure he was about to press the save button and let the whoring begin but instead he went back to his profile message and made an addendum. He added one last line: NO FATS NO FEMS!
Now the true irony of this tickled me on the inside because he is the fat & the fem. All I could do was shake my head and ask him was he serious. He said “Hell yeah, I don’t want no fat guys and no feminine guys wasting my time.“ Now mind you I’ve seen this dude queen out in addition to play around in a wig & pumps so I assumed he would be a little more open minded. I was wrong. For 30 minutes I made a stance against a mantra I feel brings us down and divides us as homosexuals. He wasn’t hearing anything I had to say. There were others in the house I was sure would help me show him the light. So I took the convo from the bedroom to a living room of 7 diverse gay males. Nobody supported me. So I let it go. I’m standing here defending the fats and the fems while the fats and the fems in the room ain’t saying a damn thing!
This has got to be some form of self hate. Almost every gay hook up site is filled with delusional males who are demanding things of others that they themselves are not. This is as ridiculous as a gay Flavor Flav requiring his suitors to look like Tyson Beckford. I understand everyone has a certain taste or attraction but come on now. I’m just saying be realistic and open minded in your expectations. Or at least don’t display your schizophrenia for the world to see. Nobody knows you’re ignorant until you open your mouth..or type it in your profile. Ask yourself am I bringing this to the table also? Please don’t come to the table expecting someone else to pay when you can’t even go dutch!
Now the true irony of this tickled me on the inside because he is the fat & the fem. All I could do was shake my head and ask him was he serious. He said “Hell yeah, I don’t want no fat guys and no feminine guys wasting my time.“ Now mind you I’ve seen this dude queen out in addition to play around in a wig & pumps so I assumed he would be a little more open minded. I was wrong. For 30 minutes I made a stance against a mantra I feel brings us down and divides us as homosexuals. He wasn’t hearing anything I had to say. There were others in the house I was sure would help me show him the light. So I took the convo from the bedroom to a living room of 7 diverse gay males. Nobody supported me. So I let it go. I’m standing here defending the fats and the fems while the fats and the fems in the room ain’t saying a damn thing!
This has got to be some form of self hate. Almost every gay hook up site is filled with delusional males who are demanding things of others that they themselves are not. This is as ridiculous as a gay Flavor Flav requiring his suitors to look like Tyson Beckford. I understand everyone has a certain taste or attraction but come on now. I’m just saying be realistic and open minded in your expectations. Or at least don’t display your schizophrenia for the world to see. Nobody knows you’re ignorant until you open your mouth..or type it in your profile. Ask yourself am I bringing this to the table also? Please don’t come to the table expecting someone else to pay when you can’t even go dutch!
9 COMMENTS:
Greetings Mr.Couture
First I would like to thank you for reading my blog and leaving a comment. I realize that my blog has become extremely spiritual. I appreciated reading your comment! So I took my time and read your blog, from start to finish! What a great and interesting read! I will defiently be following your blog and be an active reader! The whole purpose of my blog now, as it has evolved is to uplift and encourage people and show them that they can have a relationship with God and his son Jesus, outside of the formal rules of religion. I am a Christian, so that's the foundation for my writing. I hope you will continue reading my blog, and encourage your friends to read as well. I really want to make a difference in the lives of others. Second, I totally hate the double standards on “No Fats, No Fems”, I always try to look beyond the surface of each individual I meet, and try to get to know the real individual. Look forward to getting to know you through your blog! Happy Holidays! Rodrigo
Once again, you're absolutely right
Boy, you ain't spoke nothin but the gospel...lol.
The craziest part is that it's the fat queens who have some of the most rigid standards. I'm thinking, "Gurl, you need to realize you are the low man on the gay totem pole and open your heart and mind!"
When I cruise those sites it's all really sad. Some of the people seem so bitter and catty that they can't possibly be secure enough to leave their hearts open for true love to come in.
I've always thought it was the whole "Revenge of the nerds" syndrome. They want to reject others in a way that they've been rejected.
I hat this statement No Fats No Femes. It use to be because I thought it applied to me. The feme part, until I realized I was hardly femenine. Not compared to some of the guys that I have met who post such foolishness on their profiles. You are right in saying there are so many gay men who are homophobic and racist themselves toward other lgbt males. We have a tendency to treat each other like coats in a store and if we don't have that name brand label (I.E. Flat stomach, cute face, thug swagger) nobody wants to deal when problem is most if not all of us have flaws and imperfections and /or bitch out in a minute. How can we persecute other people. It's not right nor is it fair.
LMAO! I guess he's just trying to narrow his search a bit...But I wonder if he's secretly offended when he reads it off of other's profiles.
For example, I rarely hook up with black guys...However, I get a little upset when I read "Sorry, no black guys" in an ad.
I'm glad u did a blog on this subject. Everybody has their own taste in men but to discriminate agaisnt people in our own community is ignorant. I did have a thing for masculine guys, but I learned that all guys have both those traits so it's wrong to be ignorant and put down those in our community
Lord, thank you for this!
LOL this is kinda funny lol yes it is discrimination but at the same time shouldnt a person have the right to have a preference. Now when it comes the the pot callin the kettle black now that i can understand in this day and age we have alot of gays and even people in general who have this list of requirements that they cant even live up too. So my personal motto is only ask for what you can provide. This is one of the things u realize when you become an intelligent adult! am i right
I've noticed so many men say no fats, no fems, but can't live up to those requirements themselves. It's quite absurd. Besides, there are better ways of articulating your preference for a certain demeanor or body type than putting NO FATS NO FEMS. It's tacky and unkind.
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