For those who don’t know, a “Rider” in the Entertainment Industry, is a list of demands a celebrity has and wants fulfilled in order to show up and/or perform at an event. I had no idea Whores had one too until recently.
Hooking Up takes a lot of effort and if you’re the one who’s hosting it can be an extra hassle. Hosting means my lazy ass has to clean my house, Febreeze my damn sheets, make my bed, find something casual yet impressive to wear that I can take off fairly easy, have something entertaining playing on the t.v (because prudes feel more comfortable chilling first), in addition to my regular shit, shower, shave & get tipsy routine. So you can understand my annoyance when this guy texts me with a Whore Rider at the last minute.
His Text: “Hey, Can you do me a favor?”
My Reply: “Wassup?”
His Text: “Can you wear some basketball shorts?”
Now at this point I’m already dressed but I’m horny and don’t want to risk not getting some ass over a wardrobe change.My Reply: “Sure.”
His Text: “Don’t wear any underwear. Ok?”
(Insert me sighing) My Reply: “Cool.”
His Text: “You got some alcohol to drink?”
Now I feel my space is being invaded. I don't mind sharing the cheap shit but I only got top shelf liquor left.
My Reply: “Yeah”
His Text: “You got some weed?”
My Reply: “No”
His Text: “Damn. I really wish I had something to smoke.”
At this point I’m beyond perturbed because his ass was suppose to already be on his way and these requests are getting a little excessive. If I say what I really want to say I run the risk of offending him and not getting sex at all. Then I’d have to find a last minute replacement Headliner for the show in my bedroom, and I may not be able to find someone on such a short notice. Not sure what his deal breaker is I concede, mostly in order to bring this sex negotiation to a close.
My Reply: “I know a dealer close by if you need it like that.”
I’m a simple guy. I don’t want to be told what to wear or made to jump hurdles for a piece of ass. I just want to fuck. I don't mind fulfilling fantasies but I’m not with the “Make A Wish” foundation. If you’re one of these diva’s with a Whore Rider, a list of requests & demands in order to perform on a dick….LET THAT SHIT GO!
My Reply: “Wassup?”
His Text: “Can you wear some basketball shorts?”
Now at this point I’m already dressed but I’m horny and don’t want to risk not getting some ass over a wardrobe change.My Reply: “Sure.”
His Text: “Don’t wear any underwear. Ok?”
(Insert me sighing) My Reply: “Cool.”
His Text: “You got some alcohol to drink?”
Now I feel my space is being invaded. I don't mind sharing the cheap shit but I only got top shelf liquor left.
My Reply: “Yeah”
His Text: “You got some weed?”
My Reply: “No”
His Text: “Damn. I really wish I had something to smoke.”
At this point I’m beyond perturbed because his ass was suppose to already be on his way and these requests are getting a little excessive. If I say what I really want to say I run the risk of offending him and not getting sex at all. Then I’d have to find a last minute replacement Headliner for the show in my bedroom, and I may not be able to find someone on such a short notice. Not sure what his deal breaker is I concede, mostly in order to bring this sex negotiation to a close.
My Reply: “I know a dealer close by if you need it like that.”
I’m a simple guy. I don’t want to be told what to wear or made to jump hurdles for a piece of ass. I just want to fuck. I don't mind fulfilling fantasies but I’m not with the “Make A Wish” foundation. If you’re one of these diva’s with a Whore Rider, a list of requests & demands in order to perform on a dick….LET THAT SHIT GO!
15 COMMENTS:
That's too much..seemed like he would continue....
WHHHYY Am I throwing my hands up to Jesus RIGHT NOW!!
I SO Have been there the drink and weed request!! LAAWWWDDD!!
Bwahahah
And my simple whory ass is just exactly too simple to say: No boo Boo is Cold Outside I DON't want to wear a Miniskirt with no panties On
*sigh* Like Chris Kattan would say: Such Is The life of the Mango
That's ridiculous! I would have told him to forget it.
I've never given some guy a WHORE RIDER ever. I have had some requests made of me. Few simple ones, but not a huge list.
If you want to fuck, get over here and fuck.
YES... I LOVE BREEDING JOCK. I AINT GIVING YOU SHIT. HELL WE FUCKING. THAT IS RIDER ENOUGH!
I've not submitted a rider ... but I had a top ask me to do a bunch of shit before he got to my place. I thought it was fun, adventurous ... but the weed bit would've been an immediate deal breaker. smh "nope"
Hope the whore was worth the effort!
no sir! but the bball shorts was hott..LOL
instead of saying "you got something to drink", he should have said "what do you drink" and bring a bottle over since you were hosting!
If I was HOSTING I can see having a whore rider for the guy coming OVER but for the situation to be reversed and for him to have one id be like "you're not that cute have a good night."
This is why I hardly ever date and when I do it usually turns into A COMPLETE waste of time. Sure the sex is all that but look what you had to go through to get there. Big middle finger to the date/booty call scene ride or die! (Great blog btw Toy; now let me see if I can get through another mind bending post on Cogent Ascending; herewego...:)
Man the only thing he asked for that was bit of an issue was the weed. You had everything else there. Come on now, how long does it take to put on some shorts and pour a drink?
maybe it's time to move on
YES MASSA NO MASSA... (she get there no answer of the phone but sending text) OH AND I'M SORRY BUT "YOU ARE NOT AS CUTE AS THE PICTURE YOU SENT"... POOF (GIRL GONE) Ride that. (the one the only)*Kelly
I'm with Cogent, if I'm providing the spot then it'll be me with the rider...He probably just testing you to see what he could get away with.
Funny Thing about this post toy is, Top menm are infamous for these "whore riders" I just don't understand all the stuff i go through to get ready to give a man some ass and he wants all sorts of extra's too. No underwear, sexy underwear, womens underwear (omg!), no clothes, meet me at the door. Damn you need to talk to some of your top brotha's and let them no, that is a total turn off, and yes a sexy dude with a good hard dick and groovy stroke is hard to find, it can be replaced at the local novelty store.
WHEN THE FUCK DID HOOKING UP GET SO COMPLICATED?
Maybe it's coz Ive been in a mono relationship for 7 1/2 years but back when I was single it was "Looks - Cock - Mouth - Arse - Some Stamina - Available Now - Pulse ........ hell it didn't even have to be a regular pulse just strong when it was there!" = Now its shorts and alcohol and some other shit ??? - Jesus H fuck me and call me Mary - getting some tail is definitely a high maintenance activity today.
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