Before I began let me say that looks are subjective and relative to one’s own particular taste. So in saying that everyone should be able to relate. Most of us at some point and time have had sex with someone we’d rather forget. Sex where afterwards, in regards to the person you were sleeping with you thought- "What the hell was I thinking?" That person you weren’t attracted to at all but for whatever reason you did it anyway. Maybe it was convenient, maybe you were feeling charitable or maybe you were just drunk or high and he just caught you on a good night. In any case one of two things happens next. You either never call dude back and only admit the discretion to your closest friend that’s given you a blood oath and swears to never bring it up again. Or you low key continue the affair but only between certain late wee hours of the night.
The problem comes when the ugly person tries to do things only cute guys can do. For instance he may want to skeet on your face. In worse case scenario’s you may fall in love with him, bring the relationship out into the day light, only to have him cheat on you. You’re left thinking - "Uh you’re not cute, You can’t do that." My ugly sex scenario was another extreme. I’m not gona even dance with the details. I’ll just get straight to the point.
We’re having sex. I’m hitting it from the back. I’m banging it out something good. He’s moaning from delight. I’m looking down watching my stroke game as I go in and out when I notice something runny and brown on the rubber that’s dropping rapidly onto my Egyptian cotton sheets. Ugly dude is shitting on me. Normally this doesn’t bother me, and depending on the circumstances I may keep fucking (save your judgment for someone who cares) because I see it like this: I’ve decided to stick my dick in somebody’s ass when I know good and well what comes out of it. So whatever.
This guy was a ugly one night stand. Not only did he shit all over me but the smell was putrid and no matter how many times I washed my 700 thread count sheets they were never the same. Cute boys have gotten away with this from time to time but this was a deal breaker between me and the ugly boy. He was a nice person and as good as his sex usually was he didn’t have enough things in his favor for something like this to happen. Physically he wasn’t attractive. + Intellectually he couldn’t hold his own.+ He couldn’t dress + He didn’t keep a hair cut. Over all he was a mess. And now I was a shitty mess. = DEAL BREAKER
8 COMMENTS:
I'm just gonna go ahead and say there is not a single person I think I'd be okay with shitting on me. I mean aren't there preperations one can to to avoid this?
Poor man is ugly AND has low shutter speed?
I'd cry for him if I wasn't such a frigid bitch.
Contrary to what we're told for comfort, there are rich, sexy, beautiful, smart men in the world, and also guys with no apparent virtue other than their availability. Nobody said the world was fair.
Okay the shit part was gross(this is why you don't eat a full meal right before SEX! lol)...But the rest was LMAO!
I had the same experience a few months ago. I almost put out for someone who was unattractive. We were heavily making out when it dawned on me, "Oh my god I can't believe I'm about to do this." That's when my inner alarm rang and put the kabosh on that. I kept thinking, "Y'know what? I keep myself lookin cute, smellin good, and etc...why was I even going to ATTEMPT to do it with somebody the complete OPPOSITE?"
and LOL@Cogent Ascending.
i bid you one better... how about he shits (and in lumps) and goes to his bathroom to wet wipe or flush out what he should have in the first place and come back into HIS bedroom to take more dick... HELL NO... you not Mr Cute and Sexy... your Mr Ugly and not with these lumps of shit on YOUR bed, on YOUR floor... more less the chunks on my dick... sorry and my bad just wont do and lets just say I was home, out of the shower, and back online with another date in 30 minutes... now the sad part of it all is that I was cool with his room mate (whom didn't know we cut it up like that) and when I would come back over to chill (never to cut although it was asked several times but the ass was trashed at this point and I passed) i would see the stains on his cute lil comforter and on the carpet to which he told his room-mate he got drunk and wasted wine on it (go figure) and wine just wont come out... knawl yo shit wont just come out... well the room-mate asked about it when I was there and my comment to his reply was "a shitty mess" all to which i said with a straight face.
Wow, Toy, you've managed to make Forbidden Light cringe! Bravo!
There is clearly a positive correlation between forgiveness and attractiveness...Even as babies, the lil cuties get away with so much more than the ugly ones.
On another note: I LOVE ugly sex! Once both parties are aware of the charity involved, it give you the opportunity to set incredibly high standards...
"Um, you've been sucking on the left foot for hours...when are you gonna get to the right one? You mind handing me the remote?"
"Ugly dude is shitting on me. Normally this doesn’t bother me, and depending on the circumstances I may keep fucking (save your judgment for someone who cares) because I see it like this: I’ve decided to stick my dick in somebody’s ass when I know good and well what comes out of it. So whatever."
ROFLMAO!!! Shut the fuck up I love this post! I was sitting in starbucks drinking coffee when I read this. (coffee all over the table, I barely missed my hp mini) This was hilarious you really made my day, thanks
Yes we have all been there and sometimes it is well worth the trouble of kickin with the undesirable brotha, he soon proves to be very desirable, then again sometime the sex is has unattractive as the man.
Shyte on my six hundred thread count sheet or better and he can come get them after I wash them, and if by chance we kick again, I'll make sure I get out the two hundred count sheets for the event.
I know what you mean, shyte happens!
This shit had me laughing, literally!
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